Parental discretion is advised…

I often reflect upon the interesting times we are living in and who better to assist in these interesting times than the Prof? It was with this in mind that Marcus and I began building upon the idea of an ‘Ask the Prof’ Podcast. We completed three episodes and upon listening to them realised just how offensive they were, it was at times very funny due to this high level of offence, but it also made us realise that we could not in good conscience upload them for public consumption, even if nobody would hear them anyway.

So they are instead up in the cloud in my cloud, under ‘my tracks’ in the folder ‘podcasts’. At some near stage I will give them an edit, but until then enjoy the rough and ready love of the Prof with Marcus as our host Richard Ashcroft and TJ Sparkles as Calvin Klein the sound engineer. I play both the Prof and Midnight Jeeves his faithful valet. They require the volume to be turned way up, just part of our issues on the day, enjoy!

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Dog licking bells

The boys tell a tale of the great times now, and the bad times ahead.

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

There is always something to learn…

I had some unexpected contact and it got me thinking of how to better prepare myself for future operations…


Bad ain’t always all bad

It’s rare that when things go badly, that you can see the benefit of the shit flavoured morsel you’re feeding upon. That’s especially the case when you’re the one who’s served up the shit, you’ve literally turned a ‘golden opportunity’ into a mouthful of an exquisitely crafted excrement filled doughnut with a crab infested pube glaze.

In other words you’ve turned a situation in which you could have potentially found many positives, some of those positives you may have actively pursued for some time, into something quite nasty. You have corrupted the occasion, not on purpose, but in some ways it was perhaps inevitable and it leaves you wondering why you thought it was a good idea to not only take a bite, but to deepthroat this turd ring without first thinking of the damage it might cost you internally.

It’s the internal stuff that does the damage of course, on the outside you might be able to brush away the pubes from the corner of your mouth, but those crabs, well they have gone down deep like and are now fcking with you. You wonder why it is that you put yourself at risk, again, it’s like you never learn. Though to be fair you’re older and supposedly you are better able to deal with some of these strong emotions.

But that’s just the thing, you are in fact blinded to some of this stuff, in part as you do feel you are more capable, but perhaps more so as it’s difficult to acknowledge that you have issues that you’ve yet to fully explore, to fully understand and that is what leaves you vulnerable. The only problem though is that quite often we’re oblivious to all of this as it is occurring, you may feel uncomfortable as though something is wrong, even though it appears as though things are going as planned, but instead you are beginning to realise that things are far from okay and you are at a loss to realise quite why and so it ends, maybe badly and you’re left to wonder why.

If only you could wind back the clock. But you can’t.

The ‘if only’ moment is all that you feel you are left with, but that is again far from the case. The unease is what you need to focus upon, as it’s this that is the ‘good’ that you can take from the situation. It is in fact an acknowledgement, a realisation, that there are things within yourself that you have failed to pull apart, to understand, to analyse and to digest. This is an opportunity to know yourself better, to learn something that will perhaps stop you from shitting in your own mouth again.

It’s up to you to spot these moments, or to at least be open to uncovering them when you look back at what went wrong when you had one of these rare ‘golden moments’. As even though it might seem that such occasions are so few and far between, that it ‘wasn’t you it’s was me’ or whatever else it is that you tell yourself, the real rarity is finding an opportunity to correct something within yourself, especially a deficiency that you perhaps didn’t really know existed in the first place.

I don’t claim to have all or any of the answers, but it may just be that shit like this, the failure to acknowledge the reality of a bad situation, is what is actually stopping you from finding that deserved happiness. And with some honest reflection and a bit of adaptation, you will hopefully stop having the accursed breath of one who indulges in excrement flavoured snack foods.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A Brave New World

A mere note from the pages of the life and times of Professor Cockington…

Friday 18th August, hours of the am.

After such critical acclaim to the release of Pour Les Fans, it was inevitable that young Master Cockington would of course be intrigued as to what ‘Pappy and his chums’ had produced. Now I’m not one to break confidences let alone reveal another man’s ablution routines, but suffice to say it was ‘mid-dump’ that Master C first heard the new album.

I say album, as like his father (your humble narrator of this tale), the evening ‘drop-off’ is often a solid (no pun intended) period of time in which one can reflect upon the day’s activities, or at the very least listen to the staff’s recount of the day’s activities in order to ascertain those that are in line for a good thrashing and those that are to instead be merely denied their young Masters love, both figuratively and literally.

Now braggadocio is not a vice to which I’m familiar, yet young Master C’s entrancement I could only surmise was due to the exquisite nature of the album and not shock and disbelief at its lyrical content. In fact such was the degree of his rapture that he was moved to tears and could be heard to exclaim ‘Bravo! That’s how you indeed treat these treacherous wenches’, which I assure you made this ‘old man’ shed a tear or thrice.

Ahhh yes, the development of man child to man surely must warm the cockles of even the most wretched of unhomed winter sleepers. I was truly struck at the wonder of creation at such a moment, reflecting especially upon the marvel of doing so in thines own image. He’ll make a great Master to the estate’s in time, of that I am certain and in the interim with the right training and guidance, his development assuredly remains on track to excel in this brave new world of ours.

An extract from the journal of Professor Cockington; ‘From Riches with Bitches: How to slay Ho’s and play-doughs’.


Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Pour Les Fans…

After much delay, the new TZ album has dropped. Tracks you’ve heard many times before, and some you maybe haven’t. Exciting news after 4 years between LP’s.

This one is dedicated to the TZ fans…


















And the reviews roll in…

An amazing journey if you give it a chance, the Emoji Movie is a masterpeice” – Douggie Bray NYT

I suppose certain college fraternities could make listening to it part of their hazing rituals” – Dean Marsh USC

Did I mention it’s got 21 tracks and is free to download?” – Keith Fontane TZ


1 Wolf Love
2 Black Coffee
3 The cancers back
4 Chasing the midnight sun
5 Dont blame me, I have to go
6 Wanna be with me
7 Lean on TZ
8 Love Junk
9 Pussy is pussy
10 Moron
11 It used to be so easy
12 Rough Love
13 Close enough to heaven
14 She was walking
15 Take his life
16 You’re alone
17 Prison’s no fun
18 Tie a yellow riibon (DMT Edit)
19 Waltzing Matilda
20 Brendan’s Story
69 Pour Les Fans





Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

The silence of the fan’s…

The trouble with taking part in life is that you can’t control how it will turn out, we don’t always get what we think we deserve…


The party has ended

It was more the chance of what could’ve been, rather than what actually came to be.

For a good while things went well, generally, but things have a way of falling apart.

‘It’s not you it’s me’

It’s neither of us really, we can instead blame our genetics, still us though I guess.

When you can’t share what’s going on you can’t expect things to change, or get better.

So they continue, sometimes you win and then you forget the frustration, you forgive.

Not for long though do the good times last, the wrong thing is said, you forget to care.

It’s history you share, so nobody is to blame, it’s just that cracks get wider.

It’s these small changes that upset you, but you say nothing as you know it won’t help.

The alterations get more frequent, the slights get larger, yet still no one is to blame.

You are angry that things are this way.

‘We could’ve tried harder’

But you accept it’s how things will remain.

It’s out of your hands, though you could try more, your pride says to let it go.

Now it’s just a waiting game, it was good while it lasted but the party has ended.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

I’m not one to get upset by the ‘fake’ media but when this guy starts taking pot shots somethings gotta give, plus he doesn’t even work for Breitbart anymore. What’s going on?

Posted on at 7:06 pm by Professor Cockington | 2 Comments

Even Trump is waiting for the new album…

Was the new TZ album release date really a lie?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Daily Battles…

Now I’m not usually an angry guy, sure at times I’m prone to the odd burst of mock outrage and yes I enjoy the rough and tumble lifestyle of the famous and the daily duel with the ‘paps’. But at times I get ‘cheesed’ over fairly minor things, so cheesed that I’m still stewing over ‘what I should’ve said’ or ‘should’ve did’ many days later.

A case in point…

I was at the footy the other week and we mistakenly sat in reserved seating, having sat where a sign had been removed. Now sure it’s no big deal, you get asked to move and you move, no problem. The two young ladies who had the right to the seats where we were though, got chatting after we’d moved on, some one row forward. They were saying how they didn’t feel guilty as they’d paid extra for the seats and that you had to choose your battles.

Okay, firstly, we moved, no grumbling and we apologised and mentioned our error, so I’m assuming they feel we were ‘trying it on’ or looking for sympathy, neither was the case. As for choosing your battles, well that really rankled. Were they implying that we deserved a harsher response or even that we were trying to lay claim to the seats, to dispute the reality of the situation? I really don’t know, but it did not sit well, still doesn’t.

Yet later, after two more cases of being moved on, we found ourselves standing behind these same two ladies, cheering on the same side. We exchanged smiles at times as our team kicked goals and I even joked with them. Yet part of me felt like I should get an apology, like ‘see I’m a nice guy, no need to pick battles or the like’, yes I couldn’t, can’t, seemingly let it go.

But why?

Their opinion matters little, I know this, but I care for some reason. At times I’m the nicest guy, at others I’ll split in your face such is my level of anger. Well it isn’t, I don’t really know what it is, if anything it’s the seeming injustice of the rebuke, I think that’s really what it’s all about, injustice. I get angry when people treat others unfairly, especially me. I’m thinking it stems from some childhood incident, probably just the usual stuff that occurs when sibling rivalry is involved, but still it’s something I’m not proud of and wonder how to handle it better.

I think I need to chill more, less rush and more smiles. I’m practicing mindfulness more, I’m hoping it will eventually assist in allowing me to stop worrying about others opinions, including my own judgemental attitudes towards myself and just let some of this stuff go.

As Arnie said ‘relax you’ll live longer’.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Anything For You

Hey studs, sorry to break the monotony, I love looking at the same posts over and over again. Here’s a new song with the requisite coda that is longer than the actual song. Song itself is a love song from me to you.

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments