I had some unexpected contact and it got me thinking of how to better prepare myself for future operations…
Bad ain’t always all bad
It’s rare that when things go badly, that you can see the benefit of the shit flavoured morsel you’re feeding upon. That’s especially the case when you’re the one who’s served up the shit, you’ve literally turned a ‘golden opportunity’ into a mouthful of an exquisitely crafted excrement filled doughnut with a crab infested pube glaze.
In other words you’ve turned a situation in which you could have potentially found many positives, some of those positives you may have actively pursued for some time, into something quite nasty. You have corrupted the occasion, not on purpose, but in some ways it was perhaps inevitable and it leaves you wondering why you thought it was a good idea to not only take a bite, but to deepthroat this turd ring without first thinking of the damage it might cost you internally.
It’s the internal stuff that does the damage of course, on the outside you might be able to brush away the pubes from the corner of your mouth, but those crabs, well they have gone down deep like and are now fcking with you. You wonder why it is that you put yourself at risk, again, it’s like you never learn. Though to be fair you’re older and supposedly you are better able to deal with some of these strong emotions.
But that’s just the thing, you are in fact blinded to some of this stuff, in part as you do feel you are more capable, but perhaps more so as it’s difficult to acknowledge that you have issues that you’ve yet to fully explore, to fully understand and that is what leaves you vulnerable. The only problem though is that quite often we’re oblivious to all of this as it is occurring, you may feel uncomfortable as though something is wrong, even though it appears as though things are going as planned, but instead you are beginning to realise that things are far from okay and you are at a loss to realise quite why and so it ends, maybe badly and you’re left to wonder why.
If only you could wind back the clock. But you can’t.
The ‘if only’ moment is all that you feel you are left with, but that is again far from the case. The unease is what you need to focus upon, as it’s this that is the ‘good’ that you can take from the situation. It is in fact an acknowledgement, a realisation, that there are things within yourself that you have failed to pull apart, to understand, to analyse and to digest. This is an opportunity to know yourself better, to learn something that will perhaps stop you from shitting in your own mouth again.
It’s up to you to spot these moments, or to at least be open to uncovering them when you look back at what went wrong when you had one of these rare ‘golden moments’. As even though it might seem that such occasions are so few and far between, that it ‘wasn’t you it’s was me’ or whatever else it is that you tell yourself, the real rarity is finding an opportunity to correct something within yourself, especially a deficiency that you perhaps didn’t really know existed in the first place.
I don’t claim to have all or any of the answers, but it may just be that shit like this, the failure to acknowledge the reality of a bad situation, is what is actually stopping you from finding that deserved happiness. And with some honest reflection and a bit of adaptation, you will hopefully stop having the accursed breath of one who indulges in excrement flavoured snack foods.